Mechanical Mercury
by Neo Draco
Summary: After a tragic accident, Ami must undergo an operation that could save her life. But at what cost? Rated T for language
1. Tragic Accident

The roads glistened with moisture from the downpour. Ami, always the careful driver, took her time. she doubted the roads would still have oil on them but one could never be too careful. She came to an intersection and waited patiently for the red light to turn green. When it did, she waited a moment before proceeding. She saw a flash of light just a mere moment before the bone crushing impact that drove her small sub-compact into a light pole, toppling the steel structure onto the roof of her car, collapsing it.

She awoke to the smell of gasoline from the ruptured fuel tank. Blood was slowly pooling in her eyes and she raised her left hand to swipe it away but missed. She tried again and, again, missed. Glancing down at her arm, she saw that it was severed just above the elbow. She wondered why she felt no pain. Probably shock, she thought numbly. The fumes from the gasoline had permeated the car, making her light-headed. She tried to move, to get out of the car, only to find that the engine block had dropped down onto her legs, crushing them both. She cursed herself for buying such a small and, ultimately, unsafe car. The fiberglass and plastic vehicle, though fuel-efficient, had proven to be unsound safety-wise. Her only choice now was to wait until rescue crews could come and cut her out.

She saw a spark from the broken light pole and remembered the ruptured tank just before her world ignited.

Saeko sat, quietly, in the hospital waiting room. It took all of her self-discipline to keep from screaming. She had received the call just as she was preparing for bed. Ami had been in a car accident. Damn, that was an understatement. More accurately, her daughter had been crushed, dismembered, and set ablaze.

Her poor Ami. Saeko had never been a bad mother, at least not as she saw it. She never hit her daughter, never was neglectful. She always made certain that Ami was properly cared for while she was working. But that was just it, Saeko was always working. Rarely did she see her daughter, always leaving early in the morning, before Ami woke for school, and returning long after she went to bed, working weekends. On her days off, which were few and far-between, she preferred to sleep.

She stood as a doctor, young but apparently among the best in his field, came to her.

"Anderson-san."

"Mizuno-san," she corrected. The doctor was always forgetting her name, not because he was rude. He was simply absent-minded.

"Pardon me." he said, bowing politely.

"How is she?"

He hesitated, "She's alive, but that's about it. She's in the Intensive Care Unit but there's not much left. We have her in a drug-induced coma, now."

Saeko was silent as she considered his words. Was he telling her that the best course of action was to let Ami go? What kind of a life would her daughter have if Saeko forced them to keep her alive? What kind of mother would be that selfish?

"Mizuno-san. I want to speak to you about surgery for Ami."

That caught her attention, "What do you mean 'surgery'?"

"What do you know about bio-mechanical cybernetics?"

She shook her head, "Nothing."

He thought for a moment, trying to figure how to explain it to her, "Basically, we hope to restore your daughter through mechanical parts that would be grafted into what's left of her biological being, replacing her limbs and damaged organs."

"Are you saying you can bring Ami back?" Saeko felt hope rising once more.

"Essentially, but, I want to be clear. This surgery is her best chance for returning to a semi-normal life. I say semi-normal because she will, for all intents and purposes, be more machine than human. She will no longer need to eat or sleep but she'll have to recharge every night. Which means she'll have to find a wall outlet to plug into.

"Also, this is an extremely invasive operation. We cannot even begin until she is physically well enough to withstand the rigors this surgery will put her through. Even then, there is a good chance she won't survive."

"How big a chance?"

He hesitated, "Seventy-five against. For a ballpark estimate."

She thought for a moment, "Ami is strong, very strong. I have no doubt that she'll survive. I understand that you want to make me aware of all the risks involved, but, I know she'll pull through."

"There's not just the physical risks involved," he continued, "At Ami's age, she's just beginning to understand herself, her place in this world. There's no telling what this will do to her emotionally. It may very well drive her insane. Does she have any friends?"

Saeko nodded, "Yes, they're all very close."

"She will need them, and you, more than ever. I'm trusting you to help them understand the situation."

"What do I need to sign?"

He held up a hand, begging pause, "Let's not rush into things now. I think you really should think this over and not let your emotions speak for you."

Her eyes narrowed, "Doctor, If I have this chance for my daughter to live, I should take it. Don't you think so?"

"Indeed I do. But, think about the kind of life she will lead, when, and if, she fully recovers."

"I don't need to think about it. Tell me what I need to sign."

Sighing, he left and returned with a sheaf of papers on a clipboard and a pen. The forms were the usual hospital papers, liability waivers and insurance forms. She signed each in turn, not even bothering to read them.

"Like I said, we won't be able to begin for some time yet. She still has to recover, at least to a degree. It will be six months or more before we can start."

She nodded absently as she scribbled her name on the last form and handed back the clipboard and pen, "Can I see her?"

"I'm not really certain you want to do that. Like I said, Mizuno-san, there's not much left."

She stood, "I don't care. I want to see my daughter."

He led her to a small unit in the ICU ward. Inside the unit, were the remains of her daughter. Completely nude, Ami lay, hooked to more tubes and wires than Saeko had ever seen. Maggots, medicine's little miracles, feasted away on the dead, burned flesh, killing bacteria as they went, allowing new tissue to grow in their wake.

Both of Ami's legs and one of her arms, were gone. The remaining arm was a blackened, skeletal, limb. It would need to be removed. An IV line, with a potent cocktail of drugs, ran into a vein in her chest, keeping her in this painless sleep. Machines, working in place of her ruined heart and lungs, worked silently to keep her alive.

"We don't know what kind of neurological damage she may have, if any. Part of her skull was crushed in the explosion." The doctor, she had learned his name was Cox, explained.

She felt a tear run down her cheek and caught it in a glove, lest it ruin the sterile environment and further jeopardize her daughter.

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, "We have to go now, Mizuno-san. We can't stay any longer."

"She wants to be a doctor when she grows up," she informed him, trying to say, think, anything that would allow her to hold her composure.

"An honorable trade," Cox agreed

"Can she hear me?"

"It's possible, Mizuno-san. I don't know for certain."

Saeko placed her hand against the plexiglass of the unit, wanting, more than ever, to touch her child. "I have to go now," she whispered around the lump in her throat, "Stay strong for me, baby. Mommy loves you so much."

Saeko was able to hold it together until she returned to the apartment. The rooms that seemed so alive with her daughter's presence were now shell, dead and empty. She sighed. There would be no going in to the hospital tomorrow, or for some time after. Her superiors would understand and, if not, screw them. She finally understood just how important family was. Ami was the only thing she had left in this world. It was funny how tragedies made you understand that.

She went into Ami's room, seeing it so neat and clean. Almost like no one lived there. But she could smell her daughter here. The lilac perfume she always wore permeated the room.

Saeko sat down on her daughter's bed and looked about the room. She saw a picture on the bedside table, next to a book of poetry. The photograph had been taken a year or so before, during a summer picnic. Saeko had surprised Ami, pulling her out of school for this impromptu outing. The day was beautiful and, after lunch, they had gone swimming in the chilly but crystal clear lake, bonding as a mother and daughter should.

Remembering that happy day brought tears to her eyes. Unable to hold together any longer and glad for the privacy, she curled up, hugged the picture to her chest, and cried herself to sleep.


	2. Sharing the Burden

Saeko awoke to a bright and beautiful day. The sun made the clear air sparkle as a breeze, coming through an open window, gently kissed the older Mizuno awake. For a moment, she wondered why she was in Ami's room. The memory of the past night's events sprang into her mind and, suddenly, Saeko hated the whole world. The sun that was blinding, the frigid wind, the damn cooing birds, and the hellish ringing noise she was hearing.

In a jolt, Saeko realized just what the ringing was. She reached into the bag of her daughter's personal belongings and pulled out the cell phone that had, somehow, survived the explosion, "Yes."

"Good morning, Mizuno-san," Ami's friend Usagi's high-pitched cheery voice grated on her nerves, "Is Ami there?"

"Usagi, I'm so very glad you called. I need to speak to Ami's friends, all of you. Could you please call them and tell them to come over here?"

The shocked girl hesitated, for a moment, Saeko thought the connection was lost, "Of course,.Mizuno-san. But, why?"

She really didn't feel like explaining what had happened over the phone, "I'll explain everything when you arrive. Around noon, please."

The girls arrived right on schedule. Usagi must have sent along a sense of urgency along with Saeko's message. The sight of Saeko's drawn and pale complexion only heightened their worry.

"Mizuno-san," the priestess, Rei, began, "What's wrong? Is something the matter with Ami?"

Saeko opened the door a little wider and stood back, "Please come in."

The girls filed in silently. Saeko led them into the living room and asked them to take a seat. She stood before them, too anxious to sit herself. She had prepared tea, which was sitting on the table between them but it remained untouched. Saeko clasped her hands at her waist so the girls wouldn't see them shaking.

"Last night, Ami was in a car accident."

There was a collective gasp. Ami was one of the safest drivers they knew. The idea of her in an accident was almost incomprehensible.

"What happened?"

"Is she badly hurt?"

Saeko nodded, "Yes. She was hurt pretty badly."

"Well," Usagi prompted, "how badly?"

"The doctors think she may not survive."

There was a suffocating silence before the tallest one, Makoto, asked the question that had been nagging at them, "What happened?"

Saeko relayed the tale, as it had been told to her, leaving out no detail. Leaving out details would serve no one.

"Ami's doctor has proposed a new type of operation for her, to give her back a semi-normal life. The operation, itself, may kill her but it's the best chance we have. If she survives the surgery, she will be completely different and will need us more than ever before. Can I count on you to help?"

Usagi stood and drew herself up importantly, "Mizuno-san, I think I speak for all of us when I say we will be more than happy to do anything for Ami."

"Yeah!," said Minako, "Ami's never hesitated to help us before. Why should we hesitate now?"

"You can count on us, Mizuno-san." Rei said.

"Anything you need, say the word." proclaimed Makoto

Saeko felt tears well up in her eyes. Ami was blessed to have such wonderful and loving friends. Almost like sisters, they were. "Thank you, all of you. This means more to Ami and I than you could ever know."

"When do they plan to operate?" asked Makoto

"Not for some time now. About six months from what I was told."

"Is there anything we need to know?" Rei asked

"I don't know much, myself. The best I can tell you right now is that she'll need us for emotional support."

After making her promise, repeatedly, to let them know when Ami's surgery would be, the girls left. Saeko, once again found herself alone with her thoughts.

"This is no good," Usagi said, "what are we going to do without Mercury?"

"We'll just have to do without her, for the time being, I suppose." replied Minako.

"We can do this. We'll just implement the plans we made when we thought she was leaving for Germany." said Rei

"Those were short term," Makoto pointed out, "What will we do if she can't become Sailor Mercury again?"


	3. Operation Ami

_A/N: Okay, so now that the story is getting underway and you all know the issues that our heroines will be facing. Tell me what you think. Be brutally honest._

The day had finally arrived. Ami's multiple surgeries would begin. Saeko found herself up in the Operating Room's viewing gallery, watching the doctors below as they worked on Ami. They had already cut away the charred remains of Ami's right arm and had capped the stumps in steel joints that would later connect her mechanical limbs to her biological torso. Now came the most dangerous part of the operation.

Ami's heart had been severely damaged when a shard of bone from a broken rib had pierced it. The plan was to remove the ruined organ, along with her lungs, which had been charred by the explosion's heat, and replace them with silicon implants.

As the doctors removed her heart and lungs, exposing Ami's chest cavity, they inserted a pair of large but light-weight batteries that would power her body for the rest of her life. They had already inserted steel plates to protect the fully healed but weakened bone of her skull before Saeko had arrived that morning. This was the second shift of Surgeons that were working on her.

With the batteries in place and the wires running throughout Ami's body, The doctors removed her new silicon heart, a clear looking thing with watertight compartments that would move to simulate a beating heart, from a cooler filled with dry ice. The heart was attached to the arteries through plastic junction connectors and, with a final word, the batteries were charged and the heart twitched, quivered, and began a slow, but steady beat. Dr. Cox, who was supervising the operation, gave Saeko a thumbs up. So far, so good.

With the heart in place, the doctors moved to the lungs. The lungs were made of the same clear silicon as the heart but were slightly thinner. They inflated to mimic biological lungs. Damage to Ami's bronchial passage prevented them from using its completely. They had set a sensor to allow just enough air through to allow her to speak while all the rest would be pumped in and out through a series of vents between her shoulder blades. The vents had filters in them, which would remove any airborne debris, only allowing clean air into her body. Connectors similar to the ones on her heart connected the two new bronchial passages. The lungs were connected to the batteries and, slowly, began to inflate and deflate. Ami was, again, breathing on her own.

Saeko looked down at her watch and was surprised to find that nearly eighteen hours had passed since she had arrived. She felt the weight of exhaustion suddenly press down on her. She either had to sit down or fall down.

Cox came up into the gallery, glowing with pride at what he had accomplished, "Everything's working perfectly," he reported, "We're going to keep her in the ICU for the next couple of days, just to watch her, but then, we'll move her to a room and you can stay with her if you like."

Saeko smiled wearily, "I would like that. Thank you for all that you've done."

"My job's not over yet. I still have to attach the limbs and then monitor her progress as she becomes more active. But, the worst parts over. Everything went smoothly, not even a hiccup. It appears you were right, Mizuno-san. Your daughter is the strongest young lady I have ever seen. Her will to live is most impressive."

Saeko fought the urge to give a childish told-ya-so.

"Would you like to see her?" Cox asked.

Saeko moved, quietly to her daughter's bedside, almost as if she were afraid to disturb Ami's rest, even though she was still in her coma. Ami had been moved from the sterilized containment unit and now lay in a comfortable hospital bed.

"If everything goes well, tonight, we can move her from the ICU tomorrow and begin bringing her out." Cox informed her.

She paid him no mind but, instead, reached down and began to stroke her daughter's cheek. For the first time in half a year, Saeko had physical contact with her child.

Maternal instinct took over at the sight of Ami in that bed, defenseless and helpless, and Saeko suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to protect her. At the back of her mind, rational thought and logic argued that Ami could be in no safer hands here at the hospital, but, those voices were easily ignored. Ami had been in danger and Saeko had not been there to protect her, nearly losing her daughter to her negligence. She would not make the same mistake twice.

"I will stay with her." Saeko told Cox.

"I'm afraid that's not possible at this time," he informed her. Her rational mind had pointed out that same fact. "We cannot allow overnight visitors in the ICU. They might get in the way of the staff."

"Then I will stay in the waiting room. I nearly lost her before. I'm not taking any chances now."

Saeko went out into the surgical waiting room where Ami's four friends had gathered, as well as four new faces.

A woman with short, sandy-blonde hair stood up and bowed respectfully, "Mizuno-san, My name is Ten'oh Haruka. This is Kai'oh Michiru, Tomoe Hotaru, and Mei'oh Setsuna. We're all friends of Ami's. We heard about her accident and came to give moral support."

Saeko surprised Haruka with a quick, but firm, embrace. Oh how she wished she had had friends like this when she was growing up, "Thank you," she looked at the other expectant faces in the room, "all of you. Ami made it through the surgery alright. She's going to be okay." There was a brief round of whoops of joy and relief. She waited until they quieted down, "They expect to move her from the ICU tomorrow and begin bringing her out of her coma. As for how long that will take, I have no idea but I am needed here for the time being.

She handed a set of keys to Makoto, "Would you please watch over the apartment? Bring in the mail, water the plants, and all?"

Makoto bowed as she took the keys, "Of course, Mizuno-san. I'm happy to help in any way."

Saeko thanked them and promised, several times, to call them the moment Ami woke up. As the girls left, she settled, as comfortably as she could, into a chair, and dozed off.


	4. Awakening

_A/N: Okay, another chapter. Tell me what you think. Seriously, reviews, constructive criticisms, are very helpful in, not only building my confidence and making me want to continue the story, but helping me shape the plot line. Any ideas you have are helpful and will be taken into consideration by me. Thanks._

_ND_

Saeko glanced over at the wall clock and then back to her book. She had been like this for hours. Each minute seemed like an eternity as she waited for Ami to wake up.

Since Ami had been moved to the plush private room three days ago, Saeko had not left her side. The only exception being the occasional bathroom break and, even then, she held off as long as she could. She hated the idea of Ami waking up while she was busy taking care of business.

Dr. Cox had stopped in on multiple occasions, really any chance he got, to check up on his favorite patient. His reason for her being his favorite was that she never complained. Saeko knew he was trying to make a joke, to ease the horrible tension, but she simply couldn't find the urge to laugh. The worry and anticipation over Ami consumed her. She could almost feel it in the very air.

The girls had been by as well. Saeko had suggested this as a way to ease them into seeing Ami, so that they wouldn't be so shocked when she finally awoke. The only exception being young Hotaru who, despite Haruka's insistence, was still far too young for such a sight. Saeko had been firm on that matter.

It had almost been too much for the older girls. She remembered the day before when she had, at last, allowed them to visit. Each had turned almost deathly pale and one, Minako, had actually fainted. Usagi and Rei had stayed while Makoto had to escort Minako back out to the hall. Usagi had nearly collapsed in tears at the sight of Ami with more wires and hoses than there was flesh.

Saeko was horribly afraid for her daughter, more than any other time in her life. The only exception had been long ago, when Ami was just a small girl. During that time, Saeko had just divorced Ami's father and wasn't as successful in her career as she was now.

They had lived in a small apartment in a rather rough section of Tokyo. During a particularly foul thunderstorm, she had been awoken by Ami's terrified cries. Fearing that some miscreant was attacking the girl, Saeko rushed to her aid, racing like a madwoman through the apartment. Rushing though the door of Ami's bedroom, prepared to confront the attacker, she switched on the lights and found Ami's room empty and Ami cowering beneath the bedsheets. Relief washed over her as she sat on the edge of her daughter's bed and waited for her to come out. When she did, Saeko pulled the terrified girl into her arms, the flashes of light and peals of thunder causing the little girl to hide against Saeko's breast. Saeko, wishing to allay her daughter's fears, had patiently explained the workings of a thunderstorm and, by the end of the lecture, smiled at seeing Ami practically bursting with wonder and excitement as she stood at her bedroom window, watching the fury of Nature.

A small noise startled Saeko out of her reverie and she looked over at Ami. The girl's brow furrowed for a moment, only to relax. Again, she grunted and tried to shift her weight. Ami had spent nearly nine months silent and still. This sudden activity could only mean one thing.

Ami was waking up.

Leaping to her bedside, Saeko watched the girl with baited breath. Ami shook her head suddenly, trying to dislodge the feeding tube that had been inserted in her throat and strapped around her head. Quickly and carefully, Saeko undid the straps and pulled the tube from her daughter's mouth.

Ami slowly worked her jaw, working up saliva. She slowly opened her eyes and, after a brief search, looked directly at Saeko.

"Mama?" she said.

Saeko choked back a sob as she reached down to stroke her daughter's cheek. She could barely see the girl through the curtain of hot tears that had suddenly flooded her eyes, "Hi, baby."

Ami's eyes left her mother's as she slowly looked around the room. Still groggy from the drugs, she couldn't quite comprehend where she was.

"You're in the hospital, honey," Saeko explained, "you were hit by a bunch of kids out street racing. Do you remember?"

Ami shook her head, "Not really. All I really remember is a flash of light. It all happened so fast. How long have I been out?"

"Nearly nine months."

"What happened to the other driver?"

"After he hit you, he took off. He turned himself in the next day or so."

Ami settled back against the pillow, "My head feels strange, almost as if I don't have any hair."

"You don't. Part of your skull was crushed in the accident. The doctors had to shave your hair off to get at the bone."

Ami shrugged, "I always wanted to know what it was like to be bald."

"Don't worry. It'll grow back before you know it."

"Mama. That isn't the only thing that feels strange. I can't feel my arms or legs. I know I'm not paralyzed because I can feel everything else."

Saeko peeled back Ami's blanket, allowing her her first glimpse at the rest of her body, which was really little more than a torso.

With tears in her eyes, Ami looked at her mother, "What's going to happen to me?"


	5. Cybernetic Organism

"Well, look who's awake."

Both Saeko and Ami looked up as Dr. Cox entered the room, carrying a large package.

"Who are you?" Ami asked.

"My name's Richard Cox, Ami. I'm your doctor. I just came to show your mother your new prostheses. Since your awake, I'll show them to you as well."

He opened the package and pulled out a mechanical arm and leg. He held up the arm, "This is one of your new arms. The skeleton is made up of Titanium, as strong as steel but a third of the weight, almost the same weight as a regular arm. The skin is made up of a cellulose mixture called Dragon-skin Its texture is a little rougher than regular skin but it's three times as durable, and, it's fireproof. The hand is covered in the same Dragon-skin but, underneath are small ceramic plates with tiny pressure sensors within, which will send signals to your brain, alerting you if you're applying too much pressure to any particular object you're holding, so you don't accidentally break anything."

He showed them the leg, which ended in a ceramic foot, "The leg is built the same way with the Titanium skeleton, Dragon-skin, and ceramic with pressure sensors. These appendages will be attached to your biological torso through the metal joints you now have. With these new appendages, you'll be stronger and faster than you ever were before."

"Whoopee." said Ami, the reply dripping with sarcasm.

"Ami," Saeko hissed.

Cox smiled, "It's quite alright, Mizuno-san." He sat down on the edge of the bed and spoke softly, "I realize this must all be very frustrating and frightening for you, Ami. But please realize that we are only doing this to help you. To give you as normal a life as we can. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel."

"Yeah?" Ami snarled, "What do you know about this?"

In reply, Cox pulled up the right leg of his pants, revealing a prosthetic leg, "I lost my leg in a train accident many years ago. My road to recovery was long, difficult, and painful. As yours will be. I felt the same way you do, like I was alone in the world, like I was some kind of freak. I lost sleep over worrying how others would see me, wondering if they would see me, or the prostheses. I went out of my way to avoid showing the leg, even giving up swimming, one of my favorite things to do. Eventually, over time, I came to accept and be comfortable with my new life. I stopped caring what others thought and decided to make the best of things. So will you, with time."

Ami lay quietly for a moment, considering his words, "What will I have to do?" she asked.

"Well, you'll have to learn even the most basic of tasks, like walking, picking things up, folding and unfolding things, and feeding yourself, all over again. You'll never believe me if I told you just how difficult that will be. You'll have to come to peace with what you are now."

"And what am I?"

"A Cyborg, or Cybernetic Organism. The first in history."


	6. True Friends

The girls visited later that day, as Saeko was feeding Ami. The lack of arms and legs had reduced Ami to an infant-like state, dealing a serious blow to her self-confidence. Usagi was the first to arrive, with Rei, Minako, and Makoto in tow.

Without saying a word, Usagi sat on the edge of Ami's bed and gave her a gentle kiss on the brow, "Life's going to be difficult," Usagi, usually such a ditz but given to occasional bouts of wisdom, said, "We're here for you. We'll help you every step of the way, and we won't leave you for anything."

"But, what about S-" Ami barely stopped herself in time, the pain medication was making her careless

Usagi gently hushed her, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, you're alive, and that's all that matters."

Ami looked mournfully down at her stumps, "I'm sorry. I should have been more careful."

"There was nothing you, or anyone else, could have done to prevent what happened," Rei said, "The only thing we can do now is move on."

"There's no use beating yourself up, Ami," Makoto told her.

Ami turned to her mother, "Mama, why don't you go home for a while, take a shower, grab a change of clothes, and a nap." she wrinkled her nose, "you smell funny."

Saeko hesitated for a moment, the maternal instinct still running strong, until Ami assured her, "It's not like I'm going anywhere. And the girls are here."

Saeko picked up her handbag and gave Ami a kiss, "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Take your time. There's no huge rush," she watched as Saeko left, closing the door behind her, before saying what was really on her mind, "Can we please talk about the elephant in the room?"

"Luna and Artemis are fairly certain that you'll still be able to transform," Minako said, "but there's no way to know for sure until you try."

"I wonder what you'll look like," said Usagi, referring to Sailor Mercury.

"I'm not sure I want to know," Ami replied sadly, her brain conjuring an unbidden mental picture.

She began to shift her shoulders in an odd manner, trying to push herself higher onto the bed. She only succeeded in pushing herself lower until Rei and Makoto got the message and helped her, with Usagi carefully working the bed's controls, allowing Ami to sit up some.

"Thanks," Ami replied before heaving a huge sigh, "this really sucks."

Usagi gripped Ami's shoulder, "It'll get better, you'll see."

A yellowish fluid began to trickle down from a line that ran from between what was left of Ami's legs into a small bag hanging from the base of the bed. Usagi, Makoto, and Rei realized what the fluid was and turned away, allowing Ami some privacy. Minako did not.

"What the-?"

Ami blushed, "Sorry."

Minako looked disgusted, "Could you, Y'know, not do that again?"

Ami flushed red with anger, "I can't control it, Minako. There's no reason to act like that!"

"Yeah, Minako." growled Rei, "Could you be anymore rude and insensitive?"

"Sor-ry. Jesus."

"I find it funny," said Ami, glaring at her friend, "that you see nothing wrong with embarrassing your friend when she's like this. You didn't even have the goddamn common courtesy to turn away."

"I said I was sorry."

If Ami had hands, she would have strangled the blonde, "Get out," she snarled.

"But-"

"OUT!"

Minako stormed out, muttering to herself, and slammed the door behind her. Silence reigned as the three remaining girls watched Ami, tears slowly coursing down her cheeks. Usagi leaned down and held Ami tightly. The other two joined in.

"I'm sorry," Usagi whispered, "I'm sorry she was so rude."

"God, how I hate her."

"Don't say that," Rei comforted, "Don't. I'm sure she didn't mean it. This is still a shock to us."

"A shock to you? How do you think I feel? I hate this. I hate feeling like some helpless child. Christ, I'm better than this. I can't even wipe my own ass, goddamn it. Somebody kill me. If you love me, put me out of my misery. I can't stand it any longer."

"Don't talk like that. Please? It'll get better. You'll see."

Ami buried her face in Usagi's shoulder as she cried.


	7. The Return of Kush

After Ami's episode, the girls had been chatting, talking of things that had occurred while Ami had been comatose. There was a quiet knock at the door. Makoto opened it, allowing Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna in.

"Hey, you lunatic. What were you thinking, racing around in the rain like that." Haruka said jokingly, "Even I'm not that ballsy."

Everyone chuckled at Haruka's comment and the mood lightened considerably. Michiru placed a bouquet of flowers on Ami's bedside table and gave her a gentle hug, "I'm glad your alive, Ami. I'm sorry I can't stay longer but Hotaru will be getting off from school soon and I have to be there to let her in. I'll bring her by later to see you."

"Okay. Tell her I said 'hi'" replied Ami as Michiru left.

Setsuna looked about, "Where's Minako?"

Ami was about to reply when Rei cut her off, "Something came up and she had to leave."

"What a shame," Setsuna commented

"Yes, what a shame," Ami grumbled, only to be hushed by Usagi.

Haruka wandered around the room, "I wish I had gotten a room half this nice after my accident." she said, referring to a rather nasty racing accident she had been involved in the year before.

"I'll speak to Michiru," Setsuna replied, only half-joking since she noticed Ami's expression, "Maybe we can work something out. You might be coming back sooner than you think."

Ami began to shift uncomfortably. Makoto took notice, "What's wrong?"

"Hurts." she whimpered through gritted teeth.

"Usagi, quickly, push the button on that little black controller next to you. That controls her morphine," Setsuna instructed.

She complied and Ami sighed, settling back down, "Thank you."

Dr. Cox entered the room and was surprised to see all the people that had gathered, "Oh, hello."

"Is that _your_ Doctor?" Usagi asked

"He's kinda cute," Makoto commented, "looks just like one of my old boyfriends."

"What man doesn't look like one of your old boyfriends," Ami muttered. She was exhausted and her friends' continuing presence was beginning to wear her down.

"Girls," Setsuna said, coming to Ami's aid, "I think it's time for us to leave. Ami needs her rest right now."

"Okay. We'll see you tomorrow, Ami."

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Cox said, "That's why I came. Ami's next round of surgery is tomorrow. We'll be attaching her new prostheses."

"Well, we'll see you soon," said Usagi, giving Ami a final hug.

"Get well, kid," Haruka said, following the rest of the girls out the door, "We'll bring Hotaru by as soon as you're well enough."

"I'll be coming by later to check up on you," Dr. Cox said, pausing at the door, "Rest up, now. You'll need your strength."

l-l-l-l

Saeko quietly opened the door to Ami's hospital room. The lighting was turned down, allowing her daughter to rest. With her overnight bag and a special friend in tow, she went inside.

She tucked Ami's special friend, an old, well-worn plush cat named Kush, into the bed next to her daughter. Kush had been a gift from Ami's father right before he and Saeko had divorced. Ami had been about five years old at the time. She and Kush had bonded instantly. Wherever the young girl had gone, Kush would accompany her, which led to several washes for the black and white plush feline. Kush was Ami's confidant and protector, there to share the worries of a ferocious storm, the passing of a loved one, or a simple bad day.

As Ami had grown, Kush had taken his place on a high shelf in her room, ready to be there when needed and to watch over her in the night. Saeko had always wondered how a child's bond to a particularly precious toy could stand the test of time in the manner Ami and Kush's had. She had surprised herself, on the return drive to the hospital, by sharing her worries with Kush, as if the plush toy could actually hear her. But the part that surprised her the most was that she actually felt better after.

Saeko read over the machines that kept track of Ami's vitals. Her respiration and heart rate were slightly elevated, probably from the pain. Ami was already low on the high side for her morphine and anymore could have a significant impact on her recovery. Though Saeko wished to increase the dose, she held back, fearful of the consequences.

Cox moved quietly into the room and began to check Ami's vitals. He noticed Saeko, "Good evening, Mizuno-san." he whispered, so as not to disturb Ami.

"Good evening." she replied.

He wrote some information down on his clipboard, "Since Ami's prostheses are in, I've scheduled surgery to attach them tomorrow. She can begin physical therapy the day after. Everything's moving along like a well-oiled machine," he paused, realizing the reference he just made, "no pun intended."

He finished his notes and closed his clipboard, "Mizuno-san, I should let you know. After a traumatic accident such as this, patients sometimes undergo a radical change in brain chemistry, which can alter their personality. I would like you to watch over Ami. If she begins to exhibit sudden changes in mood or behavior, please let me know. There's a good chance we can help her with therapy and medication."

Saeko nodded, suddenly very afraid again, "Of course."

He smiled at her, "Don't worry, Mizuno-san. I'm certain Ami will be fine. You'd better get some rest, we all have a very big day tomorrow."


	8. Becoming Whole Again

"Now relax, take a deep breath, and count backwards from ten," Dr. Cox instructed as he pressed the mask over Ami's mouth and nose, letting the anesthesia flow. Ami made it to seven before the drug took hold and her eyes fluttered shut

l-l-l-l

Saeko watched from the Operating Room's observation deck as the doctor's and surgeons began their work at putting Ami back together again. The male end of each prosthetic limb looked similar to a three prong outlet plug. She watched in earnest as the doctors mated the male end of what would become Ami's right arm with the female end of the right shoulder socket. At first, Saeko was sure that they had done something wrong as the hand was facing in the wrong direction, with the palm of the hand facing out. But, one of the doctors, a rather buff fellow, ratcheted the arm around one hundred and eighty degrees, locking into place.

The microphone hanging above the operating room table picked up Cox's voice, "Alright. Before we go any further, let's test the arm."

One surgeon removed the top of Ami's skull, revealing the edge of the metal plate. A second surgeon stepped forward and inserted a pair of probes into the gray matter of Ami's brain. Saeko watched with a mixture of horror and excitement as the doctors began to manipulate Ami's new arm. The arm folded up at the elbow joint, the probes sending electrical impulses through the brain to mimic the brain's own neural pathways.

The arm rolled, first one way, then the other, mimicking natural arm movements. The wrist was flexed as well as each of the four fingers, and finally the thumb. Everything was working perfectly.

The doctors repeated the procedure with Ami's left arm, and then both of her legs. They had to work quickly or risk the brain swelling and potentially killing Ami. Saeko repeatedly checked her watch, worrying about the time it was taking to test all of the joints, but, without so much as a blip, everything was completed, the skullcap reattached, and the scalp sewn back together. Cox had estimated the entire procedure to take eighteen hours, with three shifts of doctors running six hours a piece. But, in reality, it took less than half that.

Saeko stood a stretched, wincing as a stiff muscle in her back suddenly pulled. She watched as the a pair of nurses wheeled Ami into recovery and then went down to congratulate Cox on such a successful operation.

l-l-l-l

Saeko sat by Ami's bedside as she waited for the drugs to lose effect. Kush the plush cat sat quietly on the bedside table next to the flowers that that wonderful young lady, Michiru, had dropped off.

Ami groaned as she came awake from her drug-induced stupor. She blinked and turned her gaze to her mother, "How did it go?"

Saeko obliged her by gently pulling back the blankets and revealing her daughter's new limbs. Aside from the Dragon-skin being a slightly darker hue of pink from Ami's natural skin tone, and the cuff of the steel joint that the prosthesis was attached to, you couldn't really tell where the arm ended and the prosthesis began.

"It looks almost perfect," Ami observed in wonder as she raised and flexed the arms, trying to get a better look at them. Saeko marveled at how well Ami utilized the arm, almost as if it was her natural limb.

"Would you like to try walking?" Saeko suggested.

Ami looked down at the prosthetic legs with a degree of trepidation, "I don't know. I'd really rather wait until the drugs wear off completely. I'm still a little woozy."

Saeko smiled, "When you're ready then."

They sat in silence for a moment before Saeko brought up a particularly touchy subject, "Don't you think you should call your friend, Minako, and apologize for how you acted yesterday?"

Ami's expression turned sour, "You heard about that, huh? Who told you?"

"Minako did. She called three times today. Looking for you."

"I'm surprised she hasn't tried to apologize herself for her own behavior."

"She did. Each time she called."

Ami grunted noncommittally, "There was no excuse for how she acted."

"The same could be said for you. You must understand, Ami, that this is just as frightening for your friends as it is for you. Minako isn't the world's most brilliant girl but she does care for you. The way you two parted yesterday needs to be rectified."

Ami folded her arms stubbornly, "Absolutely not. She was in the wrong. The other girls knew I couldn't control what happened yesterday, but she was the only one who made a big issue of it."

"All of that aside, she feels terrible about how she acted about that. She had a talk with the other girls after they left here and they explained to her just what had occurred. She's practically begging for your forgiveness. Please call her. For me?"

Ami sighed and held out her hand for the telephone, which was on the bedside table. She waited patiently while Saeko looked up Minako's number on Ami's cell phone and dialed it.

The girl answered on the third ring, "Hello?"

"Minako. It's Ami?"

There was an awkward silence before Minako spoke again, "How did your surgery go?"

"Well enough. I have my new prosthesis. They look pretty good and you can't really tell the difference unless you knew better."

"That's good." There was another awkward pause.

"Minako, I want-"

"Listen, Ami, I-"

"What?"

"No. You first."

Ami paused, visibly swallowing her pride, "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted and what I said yesterday. It was uncalled for. And, I'm sorry."

"No. I was the one out of line. Rei explained everything to me. I'm sorry about how I acted concerning your business. In all honesty, I didn't really believe you when you said you couldn't control it. I just thought you were being gross."

"It's quite alright. You didn't know any better. I shouldn't have cursed you out like that."

"I'm sure I deserved every bit of it. I'm sorry I said I hated you."

Ami was slightly confused, "You didn't say you hated me."

"Oh. Well, I guess I was just thinking it. Which, in my opinion, is just as bad. So, are we still friends?"

Ami smiled, more than a little relieved, "Still friends."

"Good. I'll come by and see you again soon. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Saeko took the phone from Ami and hung up, "Don't you feel better now that you've done that?"

Ami smiled and nodded, "Yes. I do."


	9. Physical Therapy

Ami quietly sat upright on the side of her bed.

"Are you ready to try?" Dr. Cox asked.

"Not really," she replied, "But I suppose I have to."

Slowly, she slid off of the bed and immediately crumpled to the floor, "Damn it." she swore.

"That's okay. I really didn't expect you to be able to balance on your first try," he helped her back up, allowing her to lean against the side of her bed, "Let's try again."

Carefully, Ami shifted her weight and stood. Saeko could hear the tiny, quiet clicks of the mechanical joints as they made the small movements that allowed Ami to stay upright.

"Very good," Cox said, making a note on his clipboard, "You're progressing much faster than I ever anticipated. Would you like to try walking?"

Her confidence was improved by even this tiny milestone, she nodded. Saeko came up behind her, helping her to balance as she took her first, tentative, step. And then another, and another."

"Ami."

The girl turned to see Saeko standing on the other side of the room. She had walked six feet without any assistance whatsoever.

"Excellent," Cox commented as he made another note, "You're really progressing, far beyond anyone's expectations."

Ami crossed the room back to them, with each step, her stride became smoother, more fluid. She sat back down, in a chair this time, and Cox handed her a spoon, "What do you want me to do with this?"

"I want you to hold it and put it in your mouth. Act like you're eating something."

She took the spoon, thinking for a moment, trying to think about how she held it before, "This is something I don't normally think about," she commented, "It just, kind of, happens."

"It's okay," Cox replied, "Take your time."

She pinched the spoon between her thumb and forefinger, it slipped from her grasp and fell to the floor, "Oops."

"That's alright," Saeko told her, bending to retrieve the spoon. She handed it back to Ami, "Try again."

This time, she gripped the spoon in her fist, in the same awkward manner a toddler would. She raised the spoon, went to put it in her mouth and ended up poking herself in the nose. She stared at Dr. Cox with a look of frustration on her face.

"Try again," he gently prodded, "one more time. Remember, there's no rush. Take all the time you need."

"Do I have to?" she whined

Saeko stared at her daughter. That was the first time in her life that she had whined about anything. Could this be the beginning of the behavior shifts that Cox had been talking about? She decided to write it off. More than likely, Ami was just tired and frustrated.

"We're trying to see just how good your fine motor control is. This will allow us to determine just how far we need to go with your rehabilitation."

Ami tried again, successfully putting the spoon in her mouth. In fact, she nearly shoved it down her throat.

Both Saeko and Dr. Cox fought the urge to laugh. It was actually quite cute but to laugh would be to destroy the confidence that they had painstakingly built in Ami, so they both bit their tongues.

"I think that's enough for today," Cox said as he stood, "We'll do more tomorrow."

"Already?" Ami cried, "But we've barely been at it an hour."

"You've done so well today, Ami."

"Even with the spoon thing?"

Cox smiled kindly, "Even with the spoon thing. I honestly didn't even expect you to get to the spoon thing anytime soon, much less do it successfully, if a little awkwardly, less than twenty-four hours after receiving your prostheses." He handed her a blank sheet of paper.

"What's this for?" she asked

"I want you to practice folding and unfolding it, to help you redevelop your fine motor control."

and, with those instructions, he left.

Ami's dinner arrived shortly after. Saeko reached for the spoon, ready to feed her daughter when Ami's hand intercepted her's and took it, "No, mama. I want to try." she said.

Saeko sat back, watching with a mixture of pride and amusement as Ami began to, rather messily, feed herself. It was just like watching Ami grow up again.

She reached over and gently wiped Ami's mouth, "You did so well today, darling," she commended, "I'm so proud of you."


	10. Practice and Progress

Ami sat, quietly eating her breakfast. She had graduated recently from a spoon to a fork, which, normally, would not seem like a big thing, but for Ami, it was a huge step towards normalcy. Her movements were much more natural and less awkward and, Dr. Cox said, if she kept up with her therapy at the pace she had been, she could go home in a few days. Ami was both excited and nervous at the prospect of returning to the world. It had been nearly a month since her prostheses were attached and she had become more used to them and, subsequently, more independent, which further helped her confidence. But no amount of confidence could make returning to the world feel easy.

Ami was still in some pain, but very little, and less as the days passed and she progressed in both her therapy and in healing.

She knew that, technically speaking, she didn't need to eat or drink anymore, her batteries provided all of the energy she would ever need, however, even something as simple as the consumption of food made her feel that much more normal.

Saeko had left some time earlier, the time had come for her to return to work. She and Ami had sat up late, discussing what to do about her work schedule and had come to a decision. Saeko had agreed not to keep the kind of hours that she had been. Not only would it be better for her health, but she would be able to spend more time with Ami.

Ami grabbed a sheet of paper and began to fold it. She had torn the first sheet Dr. Cox had given her before she could even begin practicing. The next day, a small stack of paper had appeared by her bedside and, as she went through it, it was replenished while she was sleeping, as if some sort of Paper Fairy was coming in the night, silently encouraging her to get well.

She folded the paper into a tiny square, barely the size of her palm, and promptly unfolded it. She became excited as the paper unfolded without as single rip in it. She knew she must look silly, getting excited over some paper but this represented another milestone in her recovery and, that meant, she was much closer to going home.

What looked even sillier was what she did afterward.

"Look, Kush," she proclaimed, waving the paper at the toy cat, "I did it all by myself. I'm getting better. We can go home soon. Dr. Cox says by the end of the week, maybe."

Ami, who had always been a bit of a solitary soul, now found herself starved for conversation. Her friends, though they wanted to come and visit with her everyday, had their own lives to tend to and, her mother had returned to work, which left Ami alone most of the time. Dr. Cox stopped in when he could but he was really to busy to chat, which she understood, but still, she never realized how boring life could be with no one to share it with.

She set aside her paper and picked up the toy cat, "Kush, I really wish you were real. I'm so bored lying here all day, even walking around has lost it's fun. I can't wait until we can go home. I can go to the library and see what kind of new books they have. I can finally finish that book of Edgar Allen Poe, though I'll probably have to restart. Which will be alright, I guess. I just want to sleep in my bed and sit at my desk. All of those things I took for granted before, I really miss them now that I can't have them. This is such a bummer." she muttered.

She realized just what she was doing. She probably looked like madwoman talking to a stuffed toy as if she was a child. She glanced around guiltily, half expecting someone to leap out with a video camera. She gently set the toy aside.

Quietly, she sat back against her pillow and settled deep into thought.

l-l-l-l

Saeko returned to the hospital room to find Ami staring quietly into space, resting her face in one hand. She watched Ami for a moment before realizing what was going on. Ami wasn't resting her face in her hand.

Ami was sucking her thumb.

"Ami?"

Immediately she pulled her hand from her jaw and looked about, "Hi, Mama. How was work?"

"Ami, did I just see you sucking your thumb?"

Ami looked down at her hand, "I don't know. I don't think so. If I was, I don't remember."


	11. Regression

Saeko squeezed water from her hair as she stepped from the shower. The hospital room had a shower in it's bathroom, which she found immensely convenient. The hot water had cleared her mind, allowing her to think clearly about her daughter's increasingly erratic behavior. Saeko had caught Ami doing things that she hadn't done since her toddler years. It was like Ami was a child trapped in a grown woman's body.

And then, when she confronted Ami about her actions, Ami would claim that she didn't know what Saeko was talking about. Saeko had never known Ami to lie about anything and she doubted that her daughter would start with such trivial matters.

Saeko made a mental note to speak to Dr. Cox the first chance she got. Maybe he'd have an explanation for all of this.

l-l-l-l

"Dr. Cox. If you have a moment, I'd like to speak with you."

"Of course, Mizuno-san. Have a seat."

Saeko quietly sat on the other side of the desk from Cox and waited, patiently, as he finished filling out a report. Finally, he turned his full attention to her, "What can I do for you?"

"When we spoke of possible mental disorders Ami might develop as a reaction to her surgery, what did you mean? Could you be a little more specific?"

Cox sat back in his chair, thinking a moment, "Ami could develop an entire list of mental disorders. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is most commonly seen in war veterans, is a very real possibility. Also, we could be looking at Anger Management or Bipolar Disorder. Why? Have you noticed any unusual behavior?"

Saeko cleared her throat, "Lately, her behavior has become more and more erratic. I've caught her doing things that she hasn't done since she was a very little girl. She's been sucking her thumb, whining quite a bit, talking to Kush-"

"The stuffed animal?"

"Right. Really all of the things you'd expect from a five year old but she's nearly eighteen."

Cox was silent. Saeko could almost see the wheels turning in his head, linking the symptoms she described to possible disorders, "It's possible, Mizuno-san, that Ami's developing Age Regression Disorder. It's as you say, the disorder affects the patient by, essentially, making them act like a child. Making them do things they haven't done since childhood. She may not even realize she's doing it. She needs a psychologist to get to the root of the problem. I can recommend a few, if you'd like."

l-l-l-l

Dr. Hirohito Goto sat quietly behind his desk, "How would you say your relationship with your daughter is?"

"Considerably better," Saeko answered promptly, "since her accident."

"And before?"

"We didn't see much of each other. I was usually working, the hospital required a great deal of my time and attention. A woman, and a single mother nonetheless, has a difficult time in the upper echelons of Japanese society. If I failed in my duty once, for whatever reason, my reputation would be ruined and my job lost."

"I see. And how did Ami feel about this?"

"She understood completely. She knew what was expected of her, how to act and so forth. And, from an early age, she was pretty independent and self-reliant. I had no doubt that she would do as I said in my absence. She's always showed more maturity than her peers."

Goto was silent as he thought a moment, "It's possible that Ami's age regression stems from two particular triggers. Your absence in much of her life, don't be mistaken, they were for good reasons," he added hastily, "one must do what one must to ensure a long and healthy life for them and their children, has forced Ami to grow up early. The sudden reappearance of you in her life, and, later, the sudden disappearance as things return to normalcy, may have been what triggered these episodes. I won't know for certain until I have a chance to speak with Ami face-to-face." He turned on his computer and pulled up a scheduling program.

"The earliest I can offer you is the third Tuesday of next month. At three o' clock?"

"That will do," Saeko replied. She wanted to get to the bottom of this strange, inexplicable, and, frankly, unwelcome, behavior of Ami's as quickly as possible.

"Excellent. In the meantime, continue to observe Ami. Make note of everything that you see that is out of character for her in as much detail as possible. That information will be a huge asset in Ami's diagnosis and treatment."


	12. Going Home

The day had finally arrived. After nearly a year in the hospital, Ami was returning home. Saeko watched as her daughter dressed herself, her movements nearly natural, in jeans and a long-sleeved sweater. Ami was still very much self-conscious about her appearance and, at her insistence, Saeko had gotten permission from the school system, allowing Ami to wear a man's uniform of a dress shirt and slacks, instead of the usual skirt. She had cited Haruka Tenoh as precedence, to which the representative she had spoken with had replied that they had thought Haruka _was_ a man, which had led to a lot of laughs when she had gotten back to Ami.

Dressed, Ami sat down in a wheel chair and allowed Saeko to push her, "I can walk, you know," she objected.

"I know you can, honey. But it's hospital policy that patients are wheeled out."

"Figures. Cuts down on insurance premiums, huh?"

Saeko chuckled, not quite certain if Ami was joking or not, "That's right. If people get hurt, whether or not it was the hospital's fault, we're still held liable. It's better to be safe than sorry."

"It's a shame the girls didn't come. You'd think they'd care enough to see me home." Ami observed sadly.

"Oh, I'm sure they haven't forgotten about you."

Dr. Cox met them at the door, "Remember to practice your fine motor skills," he instructed, "I'm happy to see you go home but I'm sorry to see you leave. You've been a great patient, even if you were a bit of a handful at times."

Ami didn't know what to make of this comment. She went the safe route, "Thank you?"

l-l-l-l

The drive home was quiet with Ami deep in thought. She tried to imagine what returning to school would mean for her. What would occur when her peers noticed her new look? And they would notice, it was just a matter of time but, how would they react? Ami was already ridiculed for her antisocial behavior and high intelligence. This would simply give them more ammunition, she was sure of it. At least she had her friends to help her. Though she and Minako had made up, she could never truly forgive her for the way she acted. Something dug away at the back of her mind. What if her friends turned on her? Who would be the first? When would it happen? She knew it was probably just paranoia, but, the "what ifs" dug away, boring into her. What if she became too much of a burden on them? What if they left her? What would happen to her now that she was back in the real world? Could she face life without her friends by her side? For the first time in her life, Ami contemplated suicide.

Saeko interrupted her thoughts, "We're here."

Finally, she was home, back in her comfort zone. She could return to _her _room. Lay down in _her_ bed, maybe take a nice rest. She would have to find an extension cord first. Though she was alive, Ami realized, possibly for the first time since the accident, that she would never truly be _alive_ again. Ami Mizuno died that night, in that fiery car crash. The Ami that now opened the door for her mother was a machine, nothing more. She ran on batteries, she was made of metal. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't love. All the things that made humans _human_.

"SURPRISE!"

Startled, Ami stumbled backwards, nearly toppling over her mother as her friends, _all_ of her friends, leaped out of the various hiding spots. In closets, behind furniture, and in the darkness. She saw a large banner, sloppily painted, that read _Welcome Home, Ami-chan _hanging from the ceiling. That had to be either Hotaru's work or Usagi's.

Not quite recovered from her surprise, she cried out as all of her friends piled on top of her, trying to embrace her all at once, talking all at once. Ami couldn't make heads or tails of what each was saying.

Finally letting her up and into the apartment, the girls let Ami catch her breath, "What are you guys doing here?"

"To welcome you home, goofy." cried Rei in an unusually exuberant manner. It seemed forced to Ami. Maybe they could see the trouble she'd bring them. Maybe they didn't want to be with her anymore. Paranoia, she decided. It was nothing more than paranoia speaking.

She admitted, only to herself, how glad she was when the time came for the girls to leave. It was simply too painful to see them, to know how different she was from them, and how they knew it. She saw the darting glances at her prostheses, as if the girls were trying to glimpse the metal beneath the flesh. She had felt their weak grips as they embraced her on their way out the door, as if she were some fragile machine. That's all she was, a machine.

Saeko turned to Ami, "Why don't I get dinner started?"

"If you want. I'm not hungry. I'll just lie down for a little while."

"But, Ami, honey, you haven't eaten all day."

"I don't need to eat at all. Remember." that came out a little too harsh.

"But, Ami-"

"MOTHER! I'M FINE!" She bellowed. Ami could see her mother deflate.

"Okay, then. I'll just make something up, in case you get hungry later."

"Don't hold your breath," Ami muttered as she stormed into her room and slammed the door, locking it behind her. All she wanted was privacy, within and without. She didn't want her meddlesome mother constantly hovering over her, as if she were to suddenly collapse.

Ami sat down on the floor, pulled off her blouse, and reached behind her for the cord. After a few tries, she managed to find the outlet and plug in. She had enough battery power to last a few days without needing to recharge but she needed an excuse not to be bothered.

So, it had already started. Already her friends were beginning to leave her behind, treating her as if she was some machine. She sighed as she felt the electricity flow through her. This was her life now. This was everything she needed. Especially the privacy, away from the stares, glances, and rude remarks that were sure to come. She dreaded having to return to school the next day. But there was no point in delaying the inevitable. She had no choice but to take it one day at a time and, hopefully, not kill anybody. She had to program herself, just like some machine.


	13. Anger Management

Despite her objections, Ami returned to school a few days after she got out of the hospital. As she walked with Usagi, she noticed the stares, the whispers, the pointed looks in her direction.

"They're staring at me." Ami whispered

"Because they haven't seen you in a while. You were out for a year." Usagi reminded her, "They're simply not used to having you around again."

"Yeah, who wouldn't think a cyborg running around the school was strange?"

"Stop it." Usagi took Ami by the shoulders and spun to face her, "I can't tell you how many people stopped me on a daily basis to ask how you were doing, or to send well-wishes. Nobody here thinks you're a freak. It's just a bit of a novelty having you back. Give it a couple of weeks, it'll stop as soon as they get used to you again."

"I think it'll take longer than a few weeks to get used to Ami Mizuno, world's first cyborg."

"_Enough_." Usagi's patience was wearing thin with her friend's constant negative comments, "You can't even tell the difference. Yeah, your skin's a slightly different tone. They probably don't even notice. You don't move like a robot, you don't act like a robot. You move and act like...well..._you_." She spotted someone over Ami's shoulder, "Naru-chan, Umino-kun." She dragged Ami over to the school's oddest couple.

"Ami-chan," Umino said, straightening his glasses, "It's good to see you. I heard you were in a bad car accident. I'm glad to see you're well again."

"Thank you, Umino-kun. Your concern is appreciated."

"I see you're wearing the boy's uniform." Naru observed.

"Y-Yes. I-I have scars from the burns." Ami stammered.

She looked Ami up and down, "Looks good. Do they fit alright?"

Startled, Ami looked at her Naru. Did she know? "What?"

"The clothes." said Naru, gesturing at her outfit, "Do they fit alright? Sometimes the school gets the sizes wrong."

"Yeah. Yeah. They fit fine." She had figured it out, either that, or someone had told her. Ami eyed Usagi suspiciously. The girl _did _ have a difficult time keeping secrets. She probably opened her big mouth to the entire school. "I have to get on to class, now."

This time, Ami dragged Usagi away, "She knows." she muttered.

"What? Who knows?"

"Naru. Did you have to tell her?"

Usagi was confused, "What are you talking about? I didn't tell anybody anything. I would never do that to you."

Enraged, Ami spun on Usagi and pinned her against a bank of lockers, "_You're lying!_" she growled through gritted teeth.

"Ami! Stop it! You're hurting me!"

"Why did you have to tell her?"

"Ami, I swear I didn't tell _anyone_!"

"I _hate liars_!" Ami clenched her fist, brought it up, and slammed it into the locker, denting the heavy aluminum and missing Usagi's head by centimeters. Usagi cried out in fear, the blow could have, easily, crushed her skull.

Ami felt a strong hand on her shoulder. Yoshima-san, one of the Physical Education teachers was standing directly behind her, "Let Tsukino-san go."

Ami released Usagi, who sunk to the floor, crying with relief. Yoshima-san gave Ami's shoulder a tug, "Come with me, Mizuno-san."

l-l-l-l

Ami took a seat in the School's administrative office, her eyes downcast. She had only been in the office on the occasional errand, never before had she been in trouble. The office was ominously silent, the only sounds being the tick of the clock and the Secretary's typing.

The Principal, Sumisu-san, opened his door, "Mizuno-san, you may come in now. I'd like to speak with you."

Quietly, Ami entered the Principal's office and took a seat as he closed the door, "Would you care to explain yourself?"

"I don't know what happened, sir." she replied, continuing to look down, "I asked Usagi-chan why she had spoken to one of her friends about my...condition... and the next thing I know, I'm in here."

"I see. Mizuno-san, this behavior is unusual for you. Now, given you're record and what you went through this past year, I'm inclined to be lenient. However, your behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated here."

There was a knock at the door and the Secretary stuck her head in, "Excuse me, Sumisu-san, but, Mizuno-san has arrived."

"Send her in."

Ami's mother, still dressed in her white lab coat, entered and glared at her daughter before taking a seat in the chair next to her.

"Thank you for coming, Mizuno-san."

"Tell me what happened." replied Saeko, impatient to get to matters.

"It appears your daughter attacked another student, Tsukino Usagi-san, in the hallway this morning. Now, as I've explained to her, I'm inclined to be lenient concerning her punishment. However, this behavior will not be tolerated in this school."

"I assure you, Sumisu-san, it is no more tolerated in my house."

"I understand that, Mizuno-san. Given that this is Ami's first recorded offense, I'm placing Ami on suspension until she can go before the school board with a proper explanation for her actions. The final decision whether or not to expel her will rest with them. At this time, Mizuno-san, I request that you take your daughter home."

Saeko seized Ami's wrist in an iron grip, "Thank you for your time and understanding, Sumisu-san," she said, her voice just as hard as her grip, "I will do just that."


	14. Suspension

Saeko closed the door and followed her daughter into the living room, more confused than angry, but there was still anger to spare. Ami had never done anything like this before and, frankly, it scared her to think of what Ami might be becoming. She gestured for Ami to sit on the sofa before seating herself across the coffee table from her, "Tell me what happened." Saeko said, trying to keep her voice even.

Ami sat, shoulders hunched, head low, back bowed under the weight of her shame as she explained what had happened, "I don't know, Mama. I was angry with Usagi because I thought that she had told everyone about what happened to me, but then, the next thing I know, I'm sitting in the Principal's office."

"So, you expect me to believe, that you simply blacked out, but, somehow, managed to attack your friend, almost killing her, might I add, in the intermittent time."

Ami nodded her head and Saeko hunched forward, "Do I look that stupid?"

Ami looked up, her eyes full of tears, "Please, Mama. You have to believe me. I would never hurt Usagi, never in a million years. She's my best friend."

"Then why would you try to kill her?"

"I didn't!"

"You did! People saw you pin her against a locker and try to hit her! Thank god she moved her head or you would have killed her! Do you understand, Ami? You could have killed that poor girl! I'd be very surprised if she ever went near you again!"

"Please, Mama." Ami cried, the tears falling freely, "I wouldn't hurt her, or anyone. Have I ever done so intentionally before? Please help me, Mama. I'm scared. I don't want to hurt anybody."

Saeko took a moment to breathe. Either Ami was lying, which she had never done before, or something was seriously wrong, "Dr. Cox did mention something about you possibly developing mental issues. I'm going to schedule an appointment with a psychologist. We're going to get to the root of this problem." Saeko returned her gaze to her daughter, "In the meantime, you are not to leave this apartment unless I'm with you. There will be no friends over, no telephone calls, nothing. I will be calling you every hour, on the hour, to make sure you're here, and if you don't answer every damn last one of them, then you _will _be in trouble."

Saeko picked up her bag and headed for the door, "I have to go back to work now. You are to stay here and, if you're not here when I get back, may God have mercy on you."

"Yes, ma'am." Ami replied as she headed to her bedroom to plug in. She really didn't have anything better to do.

l-l-l-l

Shortly before dark, the telephone rang. Fearing it was her mother, Ami immediately answered, "Hello?"

"Ami, what the hell happened today?" Rei sounded agitated.

"Rei, I'm not supposed to be on the phone. My mother could call at any minute."

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me what happened. Usagi-chan came back here, crying something about you nearly killing her. Since when do you attack people?"

Ami sighed. She really didn't want to relay the story again, "I'm having some issues right now."

"I'll say. It took us forever to get her to calm down."

"Tell her I'm sorry. I really am. I would never hurt her intentionally and you know that."

"So does she. But you scared the living daylights out of all of us. And then she tells us that you've been suspended from school? What's happened to you, Ami?"

Ami was silent for a moment, "I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't. Mama and I are going to try and figure this out."

"Can you still run with us?"

Ami knew she was talking about the Senshi, "Only if you _really_ need me. I mean it, Rei. If you guys can handle it, don't drag me into it."

"Alright. Fine. We'll see you when we see you."

Ami hung up and returned to her room. She took Kush down from the high shelf and sat on her bed. In one year, her life had been, effectively, ruined. She was fighting with the only friends she ever had, she had shamed herself and her mother. Things had gone all wrong and she didn't know why or how to fix it.

"Kush," she wept, bitter tears of frustration flowing down her face, "What's wrong with me?"

The plush cat didn't have an answer. He never had an answer. She didn't know why she even tried to seek answers from the toy. Angered, she tightened her hands and flexed her shoulders, ripping the toy in half. Dropping the two ruined pieces to the floor, she strode over to her bedroom window and opened it. She crawled out onto the tiny ledge and stared down at the street, ten stories below. She could end it all, right now. There would be no more fear, no more shame, no more screw-ups, just peace. All she had to do was lean forward, shift her weight just enough, and gravity would do the rest. She could just sleep the endless sleep and not have to worry about anything, anymore.

Quietly, she returned to her room and sat down on the window sill. She couldn't even kill herself correctly, that's how pathetic she was. Looking over the remains of the ruined toy, she was ashamed. Kush had only brought her happiness. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. She picked up the two pieces and the bits of stuffing that had managed to fall out and sat them on her bed. Turning to her dresser, she gathered up the sewing kit that she kept to repair tiny holes in her clothing and set to work, rejoining the two halves.

When she had finished, she inspected her handiwork. It wasn't a professional-looking job, but it would do.

"There," she announced, replacing the toy on the shelf, "all better."

Quietly returning to her outlet, Ami plugged herself back in, leaving the light on so her mother would see her.

l-l-l-l

Returning late that night, Saeko poked her head into Ami's bedroom, seeing the window open and her daughter "asleep" in the corner. Closing the window, Saeko took the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her shivering daughter. She felt so helpless, something was wrong with her daughter and she didn't know how to fix it.

She took a shaky breath and wiped away a tear, "Ami," she whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't know this would happen. I didn't mean to bring you this pain."I should have just let you die. I'm sorry."

She remembered thinking, before Ami's surgery, what kind of mother would be so selfish as to keep her child alive even with that child in insufferable pain. She had never given a thought about how, long after the physical wounds had healed, Ami would be in such mental agony, "I should have just let you die. I'm so sorry."

Returning to the living room and sitting down in a chair, she hid her face in her hands, weeping quietly. The thoughts of how selfish _she_ had been churned in her mind and kept her awake long after the sun had begun to rise.


	15. Disobeying Authority

Before her daughter had awoken, Saeko dialed Dr. Goto's office.

"I'm worried about her. She's been fighting in school, which is something she's never done before. She just keeps getting angrier and angrier. She keeps to herself more than usual. She's becoming paranoid, thinking everyone has something against her, but, when I confront her about it, she claims to have no knowledge about the event. She's never lied to me before and I genuinely believe that she's telling the truth."

"And the childish behavior, have you observed any of that?"

"No. I just keep seeing this very angry young woman."

Goto was silent for a moment, "What you describe is, indeed, disturbing, but I can't make any final diagnosis until I have an interview with Ami. This will need to happen as soon as possible before she gets into any more mischief." Saeko heard paper ruffling before he came back, "How's the nineteenth at three o'clock work for you?"

"The nineteenth? That's a-"

"A Tuesday."

"The nineteenth is the earliest you can give me?"

"I'm afraid so, Mizuno-san. But, if anything in my schedule opens up, I'll be sure to give you a call straight away."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"In the meantime, the best I can tell you to do is to continue observing your daughter, documenting her behavior, actions, and triggers. Where they took place and at what time. However, if she, again, becomes violent, try to stay out of her way. Call the authorities if you must."

l-l-l-l

Ami awoke to find her mother gone for work, with breakfast sitting out on the table. She ignored it, it seemed too much like an offering. Instead, she returned to her room, her private sanctuary, and stood silently, deep in thought. She wondered about these blackouts she'd been having, if they were connected to her...condition. Maybe one of the batteries had begun to leak.

From what she kept hearing, she was quite active during these blackouts, acting like a child, and then, flying off the handle. She didn't have the faintest idea what was going on.

There was a knock at the door and, for a moment, Ami wondered if her mother had forgotten something. No, her mother would have used her keys.

Looking through the peephole, Ami saw Haruka standing outside. Odd, she thought, she didn't recall even telling Haruka where she lived.

Opening the door, she smiled at Haruka, "Good morning."

"Hey," the blond replied, shifting uncomfortably. There was an awkward silence before Haruka spoke again, "Can I come in?"

Ami hesitated, "Er...I'd really prefer you didn't. Mom has me on a short leash right now, after what happened."

"Yeah, I heard about that."

Ami deflated, "You did?"

"You know, the only thing that travels faster than light is word-of-mouth."

"This is true."

Haruka leaned against the railing on the terrace, "That's what I came about. I'm not here to judge, you know I've lost my cool on more than one occasion. But, what's the deal with you? You're the calmest, most level-headed person I know. Except Setsuna, nothing ruffles that woman's feathers, except the occasional cockroach. Then, all of a sudden, word on the street is you attacked Usagi. Enlighten me, here."

"I wish I knew what happened myself. I kept thinking that she had told the whole school about what happened and, the next thing I know, everyone's saying that I tried to kill her."

"She's pretty freaked out about this, you know."

"Yeah. Rei chewed me out last night because of that."

Haruka stood again, "Listen, Ami. We're all just trying to help here. You're our friend and, I know I speak for everyone else when I say, I hate to see you hurting in any way. But, at the party last week, I couldn't help but notice how you were, politely, pushing us out the door. If you want to be left alone, just let us know."

Ami hesitated. She wondered how she could say what she needed to without sounding like a prat, "For now, I think that would be best. At least until I can get this straightened out."

Bowing her head, Haruka replied, "That's all I needed to know. I'll pass the word along, but, if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away."

Closing the door, Ami returned to her room and picked up the book of poetry that she had been reading before her accident. Poe's depressing poetry seemed to fit with her life so well. It seemed to speak to her on a level that she didn't even know was there. His words of love and loss and the inability to heal seemed to fit so perfectly.

l-l-l-l

For lack of anything better to do, Ami found herself dozing as the sun had begun to set. The day had been cool, sunny, and incredibly boring. She had slept most of the day, actual sleep, not just plugging in.

Her communicator watched beeped and she opened it to see Makoto's grimy face, "Ami. We need you down at the pier now!"

"Mako-chan. You know I can't go out."

Something behind Makoto exploded. Sailor Uranus tumbled past in the background, "I don't care. We need Sailor Mercury. We're getting creamed out here."

She closed her communicator and pulled out her transformation wand, which was exactly where she had left it. Staring down at it, she wondered if she could transform. Obviously, the girls were in trouble. It was the moment of truth as Ami raised the wand above her head and transformed.

Fearing what she would see, she looked at herself in the mirror on her door. What she saw was what she had hoped to see. Sailor Mercury stood, reflected in the mirror. The only difference was the metal cuffs around her arms and legs, where the prosthesis were attached. Elated by her success, she opened her bedroom window and ascended to the roof of the building, displaying strength she never knew she had, even as Sailor Mercury.

Leaping nimbly from rooftop to rooftop, she arrived at the pier. She took a moment to observe the scene. The youma had pinned Rei, Minako, Michiru, and Hotaru to the walls with a sticky, goo-like substance, which glowed as it sapped their energies. Haruka and Makoto worked to keep the Youma distracted as Setsuna and Usagi worked to free their friends.

Moving faster than even Ami could track, the Youma spat a ball of the goo at Haruka, which picked her up and stuck her to the wall. She groaned and went limp like the others as the goo began to glow. Makoto charged it, getting too close as the Youma slammed her into the ground, keeping her there with another ball of goo. It turned to the others, who hadn't noticed how vulnerable they now were. It spat at Setsuna, who was pinned between Rei and Minako, leaving Sailor Moon completely defenseless.

Ami plummeted from the rooftop and crashed to the ground, the Titanium skeleton withstanding the impact. She charged the Youma, dodging the first wad of goo that was sent her way. The Youma balled up a fist and slammed it into her sternum, sending her flying through the air. Her head collided with the cement and she blacked out.

l-l-l-l

Sailor Moon watched as Mercury slowly regained her feet. She glared at the Youma with the same maniacal gleam in her eyes from before, when she attacked Usagi. Abandoning her task, Sailor Moon found something heavy to hide behind. She didn't know what was happening, but she was certain, now more than ever, that Sailor Mercury had just become extremely dangerous. Peeking over the barricade, she watched as Mercury dodged more goo wads and blows. Seizing the Youma, she lifted it bodily and flung it, displaying strength that would make Jupiter and Uranus green with envy, or extremely frightened. Mercury was on top of the Youma in a moment, pummeling it with fists and feet as she beat the creature into submission, not even bothering with tactics or magic. She simply lit into it with a fury that was both awesome and frightening. Wrapping her legs around it's neck, she took the Youma's head in both of her hands and began to pull. The Youma struggled mightily but vainly as Sailor Mercury, with a mighty roar, literally ripped it's head from it's shoulders.

l-l-l-l

Ami came to, somehow several meters from where she had landed. The Youma lay at her feet, it's head missing. She spotted it some feet away. Her gloved hands were covered in the Youma's blood. Had she done this?

A chorus of groans and grunts echoed behind her as the other Senshi were released and fell to the ground, still too weak to stand under their own power. She turned to see Usagi cowering behind a barricade and went to her. Usagi leveled her scepter at Ami, "Don't come any closer," she warned.

"Usagi, what's wrong? It's me, Ami."

"I don't know who the hell you are anymore. I know what I saw and I saw you attack that thing with a savagery I didn't know you were even capable of."

Ami glanced up at a nearby clock tower. It showed ten minutes before the top of the hour. Her mother would be calling at any moment, "Listen. I gotta run. We'll talk about this later, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer, Ami took off into the night.

l-l-l-l

Ami dropped back into her bedroom just as the telephone began to ring. She snatched up the receiver, "Yes?"

"Ami. It's mom. I'm just calling to check up on you."

"I'm fine, Mama."

"Are you sure? You sound a little odd."

Ami noticed that she hadn't transformed from Mercury, "I'm fine. It must be on your end."

"Well, okay. I'll be home in another hour or so."

"Okay. I'll see you then." Ami hung up and detransformed. She suddenly felt as if the entire world had be set on her shoulders. Her knees nearly buckled as she staggered back into her bedroom. She hadn't felt this exhausted since after that forty-eight hour study session two days before her high school exams.

Sitting down at, what she had come to think of as, her outlet, she plugged in and, almost immediately, began to feel better. It dawned on her that, Between the transformations and Sailor Mercury, the energy consumption put too much stress on her batteries and completely depleting a charge that would have lasted three days. Originally, her metabolism would have handled the energy output and she would just be very hungry afterwords. She would have to avoid transforming into Sailor Mercury unless it was absolutely necessary. She didn't like the idea of running out of power before she was able to an outlet. The batteries ran everything from her limbs to her heart and lungs. If they didn't have power, she could, very easily, die.

l-l-l-l

Saeko returned home to find the breakfast she had left out for Ami untouched. She didn't know what she had been thinking when she had left the food, thinking that Ami might be hungry when she woke, she really hadn't eaten at all in some time. She remembered that her daughter didn't need food anymore.

Setting the extension cord she had bought for Ami, she went over to the table where the plate of food sat, now cold, and dumped it into the garbage. Everything had changed now, she realized. This empty shell of a daughter wasn't her sweet and innocent Ami. Her daughter really had died that night in a fiery auto accident.

Tears pricked at Saeko's eyes and she, angrily, swiped them away. No, Ami was still alive, just different. Saeko knew, deep down, that this thing that attacked people wasn't her daughter. There was something very wrong with Ami and it was Saeko's job to fix it. The only problem was, she didn't know how.


	16. Fomuterol

"Ami?"

Ami looked at Dr. Goto. She really didn't want to be here, but, according to her mother, this man could help her.

"Your mother's given me some very disturbing information about your recent activities. You've been doing things that don't follow with your normal behavior."

"Yes? And?"

"What can you tell me about them?"

Ami shrugged, "There's really not much I can tell you. I have black-outs and, when I regain consciousness, apparently I've attacked people but I don't remember anything."

Goto scribbled something in his notepad, "Nothing at all?"

"Nothing." Ami confirmed

"And these black-outs, how often, would you say, they happen?"

"Once every few days, sometimes more."

"And what kind of emotions do you experience right before these black-outs?"

"More often than not, anger. Or fear."

"Fear of what?"

Ami sighed, "Ridicule. Because of how I look."

He nodded, "Right, right." He continued writing for a moment, "How do you typically deal with this anger you feel?"

"Excuse me?"

"Everybody feels anger, Ami. I, myself, become angry whenever I have a flat tire on my car. Whenever I become angry, I go for a walk, which settles me down. How do you deal with your anger?"

Ami shrugged, "I don't really. Most things don't bother me."

"What about those things that do?"

"Like I said, I don't."

Goto took more notes, "I see. Do you ever feel depressed? Or anxious?"

"Sometimes, like when I think about my father."

"Your mother and father are divorced. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you see your father often?"

"Not really. Sometimes he sends a birthday card or a sketch he's done but he never calls or visits."

"Do you resent him for this?"

"A little. It sometimes feels as if he doesn't want to acknowledge that he even has a daughter."

"Did he ever hurt you?"

"No."

"Did your mother?"

"No. Neither ever laid a hand on me."

Dr. Goto continued to write in his pad, taking extensive notes, "I've spoken with your teachers, Ami. They say you're an excellent student who's always early for class and often ahead of the rest of your peers. But they also say you tend to be a bit of an outcast."

"Yes. I'm typically ridiculed for my intelligence. I don't have that many friends."

"But you're very close to the ones you do have."

"Well, I don't know. We'll see how much longer that lasts."

"What do you mean?"

Ami fidgeted as she stared down at her hands, "What I'm doing, with these black-outs, frightens them. I nearly killed my best friend because I thought she had announced to the school what had happened to me."

"And you reacted accordingly."

"No. I think I overreacted. I don't remember." Ami pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Do you have headaches?"

"Sometimes. Maybe once or twice a week."

"Do you hear voices?"

"No."

Goto took a few final notes before speaking again, "I can't properly diagnose you without further meetings. However, I would like to speak to your mother right now."

Ami nodded and left the office, Saeko entering soon after, "Yes, Dr. Goto?"

"Mizuno-san, I must ask, do you have any drugs in your house. Any powerful prescription drugs?"

"No, nothing more powerful than Ibuprofen

Goto motioned for her to have a seat, "I believe our original diagnosis was incorrect."

"What do you mean?"

"After speaking with Ami, I now have doubts about her Age Regression Disorder."

"So, what do you think it could be?"

"I figured Schizophrenia to be a possibility but, she claims that she doesn't have auditory hallucinations, which is one of the indicating symptoms. Have you observed her talking to inanimate objects, or when no person was present."

"Occasionally she talks to her stuffed cat but I believe it's just to cope with this trauma. It's not like she's answering questions."

"Right. Now, I've read over your notes on her disturbances over the past few weeks and, this is merely a rough preliminary diagnosis, but it's very possible that she may have Dissociative Identity Disorder. More commonly known as Multiple Personality."

Saeko shook her head, "I thought that was only a myth."

"Mizuno-san, there is so much about the workings of the human mind that we don't know. We don't even know what the mind is. A hundred years ago, we were just beginning to understand mental disorders in general. It's impossible to say what really affects the mind. Even though there have been less than two hundred cases of Dissociative Identity in history, it only marks it as a very rare disorder, not a myth. It's most commonly seen in victims of childhood abuse, either physical or sexual in nature and can take years to manifest fully. Your daughter claims that she has never been abused, but, that's nothing unusual. It's possible that these black-outs where she becomes extremely violent is when the alter ego, the separate personality manifests."

"But, what do you think caused this second personality to develop in the first place?"

"Ami confessed that she has a difficult time expressing anger or frustration. It's possible that these powerful emotions have developed this personality, which is, in turn, protecting your daughter to a degree."

"Protecting her from what?"

"Ridicule by her peers, disappointment with her father and with herself."

Saeko shook her head. Now that she had seen into her daughter's secret life, seen how miserable she had been, it was no wonder why she had dove so deep into her schoolwork. It was a barrier between her and the outside world. With this new revelation, Saeko became convinced that, if Usagi and the other girls had not come along when they did, Ami would have surely taken her own life.

"Well, can you cure it?"

Goto shook his head, "There is no known cure for D.I.D. The best we can do is, hopefully, control it. The best I can suggest right now, to know for certain, is six months, under close observation, in the best hospital in the country."

Saeko shook her head, "Absolutely not. I will not lock my daughter in a mental facility, no matter how much of a handful she becomes."

"Mizuno-san, you must realize that your daughter is, right now, an extremely dangerous person. She could lose control entirely and kill someone, possibly you."

She stood her ground, "I don't care how dangerous she may be. Ami is still in there, somewhere. I stand by my decision."

"You realize, of course, that if she does commit murder, that you will not have a choice in the matter."

"And _if_ that day comes, I will accept the consequences of my actions. But, for right now, she still has a degree of control over herself. There is still hope for her."

Goto sighed as he pulled out a prescription pad, "I'm going to start Ami on Fomuterol, a new anti-depressant on the market."

"Do you think that will have any effect?"

"Anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications are shown to be very successful in controlling D.I.D, since the cause of the flare-ups are rooted in either depression or anxiety."

Saeko took the script, "Is there anything else I need to know?" 

"Since this is only a preliminary diagnosis, I'll need to continue seeing Ami at least twice a week to gather enough evidence to support a D.I.D diagnosis, if that is what it is. And I'd advise you to be very cautious around Ami until we can figure out what's wrong. This entity may not recognize you and might attack you if you get in it's way. Do not, under any circumstances, try to reason with it, that could be extremely dangerous. Remember, your daughter is no longer in complete control of her body."


	17. Hitomi

Saeko set Ami's pill next to the sandwich. The prescription label recommended that the medication be taken three times a day with food.

"I don't need to eat anymore." Ami objected for, what had to have been, the fifth time in the last hour.

"I know, darling, but the medicine must be taken with food, and so, you have to eat."

Grumbling, without doubt, more objections, Ami popped the pill in her mouth, took a sip from a glass of water, and began to eat, slowly and with great reluctance. Saeko watched her for the entire time as she slowly devoured the food. She felt a great pain of sympathy for the hell that her daughter was going through. She also knew, in retrospect, that a mental facility would, probably, be the best place for Ami, where she couldn't harm herself or others. Ami, or whatever this entity was, had already shown the capacity for violence.

Saeko remembered how Ami had been growing up. The girl had never shown anger, or resentment, or any violent tendencies. Saeko had thought that was because of how mature her daughter was. Absently, Saeko shook her head at her own naivety.

"What?" Ami barked, staring at her mother.

Saeko waved away her question, "Nothing. Just thinking."

Ami finished the last few bites of the sandwich and the last of her water and sat back, pinching her brow, "I don't feel well," she complained, "I think I'll lie down for a while."

As Ami went into her bedroom, Saeko took up the dishes and began to wash them when she heard a loud thump echo through the house, "Ami? Are you okay?"

When no answer came, she shut off the water and went to check on Ami. What she saw nearly stopped her heart. Ami was lying on her back in her bedroom, eyes rolled back into her head, and twitching. She was deep in the throes of a seizure. A damp spot formed on the crotch of her pants as her bladder relaxed. Racing back into the kitchen, Saeko snatched the telephone handset and ran back to her daughter, dialing emergency services.

l-l-l-l

Once again finding herself in the hospital waiting room, Saeko nervously awaited news of her daughter, mindlessly flipping through an old magazine. It seemed that she was spending more time here, now, than at any other point in her life.

She looked up to see the friendly face of Dr. Cox as he stepped into the room, "Ami's going to be okay. There's no damage on the scans but we'd like to keep her overnight for observation."

She sighed as a huge weight seemed to lift from her chest, "Thank God."

"Mizuno-san, do you know what could have caused this seizure?"

Saeko shook her head, "No. I had just given her some new drug that Dr. Goto, her psychologist, prescribed. Fomuterol."

Cox's eyes grew wide, "Fomuterol?"

"Yes."

Groaning, he rubbed a hand over his eyes, "That shit should have never made it onto the market."

"What? Why?"

"In less than one percent of clinical trials," he explained, "Fomuterol was shown to cause seizures. Somehow or another, it passed and made it onto the market. Ami is the fifth case this week."

"Do you think Goto knows about this?"

"I doubt it. I'm going to give him a call later on. My guess is that the company that makes it, Sync Pharmaceuticals, was in cozy with the Drug Regulation Committee. Somebody's going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do."

"I swear, I didn't know. I'm going to throw that stuff away the minute I get home."

"Keep the label on the bottle," Cox advised, "They may need it as evidence when this goes to court. You're entitled to a settlement here."

Saeko eyes started to well with tears. This was going all wrong. Ami was only getting worse and the both of them were at their wits end, "I don't want a settlement. I just want Ami to be well again."

l-l-l-l

Bringing Ami home the next day, Saeko immediately dumped the pills down the sink, keeping the bottle and the label. Ami had retreated to her bedroom, where she spent most of her time, to think. The incident with the seizures had spooked both of them, and now, it seemed, they were running out of options.

Saeko went to check on her daughter, who had become, suddenly, very moody, "Ami?"

Ami was looking around her room, peering at it as if she had never seen it before, "Ami, are you okay?"

She didn't answer, apparently lost in her thoughts. Saeko grabbed her shoulder and Ami spun around, rage and madness sparkled in her eyes, "Don't touch me!" she snarled.

Startled by her daughter's sudden change in behavior, Saeko took a step back, "What's wrong Ami?"

"My name's not Ami!" the girl shrieked, "My name is Hitomi!"

"No. You're Ami Mizuno. My daughter."

"Damn stupid cunt!" Ami spat as she seized a paperweight from her desk and flung it at Saeko with enough force to punch a hole in the wall, "What, the fuck, is wrong with you? Leave me the hell alone!"

Saeko ducked as the missile flew over her head, and fled the room, with Ami close behind. Deciding to put a stop to this madness, Saeko tried her final tactic, an act of desperation, "That's enough, Ami. Stop with this charade right now."

She seized Ami's shoulder and Ami seized her hand. Saeko could hear the bones popping as Ami, blinded by rage and with her new prodigious strength, crushed her hand. Saeko collapsed, screaming in agony, as she clutched at her hand. Her fingers were set at odd angles against the broken joints, already, her hand had begun to swell.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard a door slam as Ami left the apartment, now loose in the world. Saeko knew she should be terrified at what her daughter, once a kind and soft-spoken girl and now a monster, had potential to do. All she felt was relief. She remembered Dr. Goto's advice not to get in Ami's way. Saeko was convinced that Ami was still in there, she knew better now.


	18. Blood

Saeko sat, quietly, on the sofa, absently rubbing the cast that now encircled her left hand up to her elbow. When the doctors at the hospital had asked what had occurred, she had made the excuse that she had accidentally slammed it in a door.

Ami still had not returned home and, though she had reported her missing, Saeko held little hope that the police would find Ami. The girl had the ability to stay hidden if she didn't want to be found.

She wondered what she would do when, and if, Ami decided to return. She had to keep telling herself that that was not Ami who had attacked her. This Hitomi had done the deed. She doubted that Ami would even know of the event that had taken place.

She sat in fear, wondering where her daughter was now.

l-l-l-l

Ami stumbled past a tree, deep in a darkness that only a deep forest after sunset could offer. Her head felt like it was, simultaneously, being split and crushed.

_"Well, they encourage your complete cooperation, send you roses when they think you need to smile."_

Startled, Ami looked about, it seemed the voice had been right next to her. Her immediate area was deserted. She had heard the voice, heard the singing quite clearly.

_"I can't control myself because I don't know how."_

"Who's there?" she called. Only her own echo replied.

_"And they love me for it, honestly, I'll be here for a while."_

That voice, it sounded so familiar. Almost like...her own voice. But different. Darker. Harsher. More savage.

_"So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. Give them all that they can drink but it'll never be enough."_

"Get away. Leave me alone." she cried.

_"So give them blood, blood, blooooood. Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood."_

"What are you?"

_"A celebrated man amongst the gurneys. They can fix me proper with a bit of luck."_

Her headache was growing in pain. It fell like her skull was three times it's normal size.

_"The doctors and the nurses, they adore me so, but it's really quite alarming, cause I'm such an awful fuck."_

She screamed in fear and agony.

_"I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. I gave you all that you could drink and it will never be enough. I gave you blood, blood, blooooooood."_

The pain was both illuminating and blinding. Ami finally understood. She was losing her sanity.

"_I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love."_


	19. Inferno

Again, Saeko had gathered the girls together for another meeting. She had decided to share the knowledge of Ami's mental disorder. Hopefully, they could help. All of the girls gathered in the living room. Save one.

"Where's Usagi?"

"Mizuno-san," Rei replied, "Usagi absolutely refused to come here today. She's terrified of Ami."

Saeko nodded, "It doesn't surprise me. Recently, Ami's been seeing a psychologist. She's been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The Ami that's been attacking people is not Ami at all but a separate entity altogether, a second personality that calls itself 'Hitomi'."

"Excuse me for interrupting," Haruka said, "But, where is Ami?"

"I was coming to that. She took off two days ago after attacking me." Saeko held up her immobile hand, "I haven't seen or heard from her since and I'm getting worried. I want to get her back here before she hurts somebody else, or worse. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

The girls shook their heads, "She hasn't contacted any of us in quite some time, Mizuno-san." Makoto said.

"I have the police looking for her but, on the chance you come across her, don't try to confront her, especially if she appears lost and confused. What you need to do is call me or the police and we'll come and get her. But, whatever you do, keep your distance from her."

"Don't worry, Mizuno-san," Haruka interjected,. "We can handle her."

"With all due respect, Tenoh-san, I very much doubt that. She's stronger and completely unpredictable. There is the very real chance that she might kill you if you try to confront her."

l-l-l-l

Ami kicked at a rock idly as she walked down the sidewalk. Somehow or another, she had woken up this morning in a park, several blocks from her house. This was all very confusing and more than a little terrifying. She wondered if she had been kidnapped but thought against it. If she had, her captors wouldn't have allowed her to simply wander off. Luckily for her, the moment she had left the park, she had realized where she was. Even better fortune had placed her near Usagi's house. Maybe Usagi would be calm enough for Ami to explain this strange behavior of hers. A fire engine passed by on the street, lights and siren blazing. Two more chased it down the street.

"Please," she whispered as she watched them, "don't turn left."

The fire engines, in complete disregard of her request, did just that. Heading directly for...Usagi's house.

"Oh, damn." She muttered as she raced after them.

l-l-l-l

"USAGI!" Ikuko Tsukino, Usagi's mother, screamed as the firefighters began to unload their trucks.

The house was completely ablaze as Ami arrived. Ikuko and Shingo, Usagi's brother, were standing across the street from the house, staying out of the way of the firefighters. Ami assumed, quite correctly, that the girl was still inside the house, somewhere.

Without consulting with the firefighters or the Tsukinos, Ami broke out her henshin wand and transformed as she raced across the street and into the burning building.

"Usagi!" she called as she broke through the front door. Thick, black smoke hung in the air, blinding her. For a moment, she considered her goggles but neither the thermal imaging or light enhancement would work here. Either way, she'd be blind.

She coughed, choking on the foul smoke as she dropped to the floor, where the clearer air was, and began to crawl forward. Flames devoured the walls and floors around her but offered no illumination for her path. She felt ahead of her, seeking her friend, "Usagi! Where are you?"

A cough sounded somewhere ahead and above her. The girl was upstairs. Quickly, Ami retraced her path and began to crawl up the steps to the second floor. Knowing Usagi, she would be in her bedroom. Ami had been here enough times to memorize the floor plan and, the moment she reached the top of the stairs, she turned right. There was a loud crack above her as burning drywall collapsed, striking her across the back of her head and stunning her. Ami shook her head, cleared her senses, and soldered forth. Her hand bumped against something soft and warm. Peering through the smoke, she saw Usagi, lying face down, in the carpet. Rolling her over, Ami leaned close, listening of the sounds of breathing. There were none. Carefully, she tilted Usagi's head back, pinched her nose shut, and pressed her mouth tightly to Usagi's, watching the girl's chest rise and fall with each exhalation. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Usagi coughed and retched. Ami held her up, so that she wouldn't drown in her own vomit.

Usagi gazed at her blearily, "Mer...cure...ry." she groaned and passed out again but, at least, she was breathing on her own. Carefully, Ami used her powers to form a bubble of precious oxygen around Usagi's head, giving her face a distorted appearance. Which, at any other time, would have been quite amusing.

She picked Usagi up and raced back for the stairs, stopping when she saw that they were completely engulfed in flames. Her mind raced as she tried to figure a new plan. Carefully, she shifted Usagi onto her shoulder and threw out a hand, "Mercury Shabon Spray!"

The icy mist doused the flames and quenched the inferno, leaving a clear path to the door. Ami raced down the steps but the smoke continued to blind her. She stumbled, sending both her and Usagi tumbling down the stairs.

Groaning, she struggled to her feet. Every breath hurt terribly as she lifted Usagi once more. The bubble around the girl's head had popped but they were close enough to the front door that it didn't matter any more. Ami stumbled out into the sunshine and, coughing herself, handed Usagi to a waiting EMT before taking off down the street, detransforming when she was out of view.

She was exhausted as she stumbled down the sidewalk, wheezing as she tried to clear her lungs of the lingering smoke. The transformation, on top of not having a full charge, had completely drained her batteries. Maybe, if she just rested a minute, she would have enough strength to make it home. She collapsed in the middle of an intersection.


	20. Aneurism

It had been Haruka and Michiru who found Ami, sprawled out in the middle of the street and completely unresponsive. They had called Saeko on their way to the hospital and she had immediately rushed over.

She sat and awaited word on her daughter's disposition. She had been here for a few hours now. Luckily for her, Usagi's family was there as well. Usagi had been trapped in a fire that had been caused by a rat, apparently young Shingo's pet, chewing on the wires, which had sparked and ignited the blaze.

She had been saved, miraculously, by Sailor Mercury, herself, who had appeared just in the nick of time and disappeared as suddenly as she arrived. Usagi had suffered from smoke inhalation but was expected to make a full recovery.

Now, there was just the question of Ami and whether or not she would be okay. Saeko had made up her mind. Against her own wishes, she had decided that a mental hospital would be the best place for Ami. She had neither the knowledge or the resources to be able to deal with Ami's uncontrollable behavior. This Hitomi character had proven herself to be very violent and potentially psychopathic. In a hospital, Ami would receive the care she needed and, though it broke Saeko's heart at just what she had to do, her hand had been forced. It was entirely possible that, during her two day absence, Ami could have hurt or killed somebody and not even realized what she had done.

Saeko had continued to sit and fidget as she waited for somebody, anybody, to come and speak to her. To tell her that Ami was alive. It was Cox, once again, who entered the waiting room.

"We've got to stop meeting like this, Mizuno-san," he grinned, "People will start to talk."

Saeko was in no mood for jokes but she bit her tongue, "How is she?"

"She's fine, aside from a few broken ribs. Probably from a bad fall. It appears she had quite the adventure during the past few days."

"You heard about that?"

"Yes. When I mentioned the broken ribs, she confessed everything. Including what's been happening over the past few weeks."

"Yes. I've decided to place her in a facility for the time being."

"That may not be necessary, Mizuno-san." Cox replied. He pulled out a manilla envelope and opened it, "Psychology is a bit of a hobby of mine. Ami told be about the diagnosis and something didn't sound right. Multiple Personality expresses itself in people who have experienced childhood traumas of the abusive nature, almost exclusively. From what Ami's told me, that does not seem to be the case with her. I ordered a C.T. and the results just came in."

He held up the film to the light and Saeko took a look at her daughter's brain, "I see nothing wrong here." she commented.

"Yes. But, take a look at this dark spot on the left frontal lobe." Cox instructed, circling the area with his pen.

Saeko gasped, "That has to be the biggest aneurism I've ever seen."

"Exactly. The left frontal lobe of the brain controls behavior and personality. This is the most plausible explanation for Ami's recent behavior."

"When did this happen?"

"Probably during the accident. It's entirely possible that we missed it. The major problem here, Mizuno-san, is that this aneurism has swollen to twice it's normal size. When it blows, it will kill Ami."

"What do we need to do?"

"The plan is to relieve the pressure on the vessel's walls and insert a mesh cage that will reenforce the vessel and, over time, become part of the vessel itself. But we'll have to make our move very soon, Mizuno-san. You're daughter is a time bomb."


	21. Best Friends

Ami groaned as she came out of her drug-induced stupor to find Dr. Cox and her mother staring down at her, waiting with baited breath, "Did it work?"

_Nope._

"We don't know yet." Cox replied, "Only time will tell."

_I doubt it._

The voice. Hitomi. She was still here. It wasn't the aneurism.

_I won't tell if you don't._

Ami didn't mention this.

"You'll have to stay a while." Cox informed her, "for observation."

_Right._

"In the meantime, why don't you get some rest?"

"Rest." Ami replied, "Yes. I'll do that. I'll do that."

Saeko patted Ami's shoulder, "I'm going to get something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"I'm fine."

As they both left, Ami turned her attention inward, "Who are you?"

_I'm you, kiddo. I'm the darkness you've kept locked away all these long years. You can't get rid of me. Despite your best efforts, I'm here to stay. So, tell you what. Let's call a truce. I promise not to hurt anyone you have any sort of relation with, if you promise to stay out of my way._

Ami grinned but no mirth showed beyond her lips, "It's a deal."

_Fantastic. I'll always be here, ready when you are. And, Ami, let's face it. You weren't just going to throw me out like yesterday's news, right? You're too curious about me. You want to leave the quiet, shy, schoolgirl behind and live life a little dangerously, right? Of course, you do. I know you well enough, don't I? So, let's put the past behind us and be friends, alright?_

Ami's grin turned dark, "Best Friends."

_A/N: I've had an epiphany. Though this is the end of this particular tale, this can go a lot farther. And so, I've left room for further, separate, installments in the adventures of Ami/Hitomi. Or, failing that, I can leave it here. Tell me what you think, Yes or No._


End file.
